


To Hell And Back

by goodplay, qyoza



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, M/M, This is gonna be one hell of a ride, wtf i keep accidentally forgetting to make stories multichapter my bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-04-17 07:51:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodplay/pseuds/goodplay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/qyoza/pseuds/qyoza
Summary: When Kenny dies and goes to Hell, he has a lot more to deal with now that he's found Pip Pirrup, who's having trouble in paradise, with his boyfriend (and soon to be fiancé) Damien Thorn, and Kenny's not the one to give the best advice, especially since he has problems with his OWN love life.





	1. Curiosity That Killed The Kenny

Dying came easy to Kenny McCormick. It was like some sort of curse, the guy was literally a death magnet.

But you already know this. Most kids, in South Park, however, were oblivious to the fact (except for Eric, of course, but he doesn't do much with the information—and naturally, Kenny too).

Sometimes, dying was nice; It was peaceful, almost blissful even.

But for the most part, it hurt like a bitch. If you asked Kenny what his most painful deaths were, first he'd ask you how you know he dies. Then he'd say that one time where he was stuck in a hospital for a very long time or the very new recent 'chainsaw incident' definitely hurt the most.

But let's not delve into the chainsaw incident.

Instead, let's focus more on Kenny McCormick.

Over the years, Kenny became much more silent in the group, 'the group' being him, Stan, Kyle and Eric. For some reason, everyone at school thought he was 'a player' and 'got a whole lot', which got Kenny to crawl out of his little shell, and honestly, he just kinda rolled with it. So here he was, Kenny 'slept with the whole football team' McCormick. He thought it was a bit funny to be honest, him being in his senior year and all, and everyone thought he got some. The only people who knew the truth were the people who he crashed in an apartment with.

Those people? Stan, Wendy, Kyle and Clyde. And his little sister Karen of course, who Kenny was working to become her legal guardian. He was hoping to get a job soon, too, as he had just sent an application to Taco bell recently, one that opened nearby their high school (and was already filthy, despite being new. My Chemical Romance was right about teenagers). Everyone else he 'crashed' with had a job, which was how they were able to afford the apartment in the first place (plus they were pretty chill with landlord, so that worked out too).

Kenny had also tried to tell Eric that he wasn't 'constantly getting dudes and chicks', but Eric thought he was lying. Go figure.

But this story isn't about Kenny getting dudes and chicks, but that would be a plus.

No, this story starts senior year. In detention.

There was one kid Kenny saw from time to time, and that kid, was Damien Thorn. Kenny's heard of him, why, he met him in the third grade, but Damien had to move back to hell for a bit, but came back for high school for whatever reason. Still Kenny's seen him a bit, and they even talked a bit (about heaven knows what, it was just awkward small talk). Kenny could only assume he got private lessons in Hell. While Kenny HAS met Satan, he's only talked to Damien a few times, and he's waved to Damien quite a bit in the halls, but he barely gets a reaction out of the boy.

Now of course, Kenny hasn't just magically stops dying. No no. In fact, the deaths only got worse from here. Sure there was that long pause in grade school, where Kenny almost never died, except maybe a few times, and Kenny almost thought it was gone for good, but it came back. And Kenny here was getting more and more used to it. And the visits to hell? They only got more frequent. Sometimes he'd almost make it to Heaven, once or twice, but something that happened along the day didn't allow him to do that. Also, he constantly forgets to convert to Mormonism. That's on his part.

So you can only imagine how often he sees Damien. The boy is mostly busy, Damien being seventeen and all that (in fact, Damien threw a sweet sixteen last year, and Kenny invited. Everyone in his year was invited, because Satan was throwing it, and Damien was super embarrassed. Kenny was actually really impressed, the party was 'freaking lit' as Clyde had said, and even Kyle got a bit wasted. So did Butters), and Damien was soon to turn eighteen which only meant he was going to take over Hell soon. You can only image the just how much paperwork he had to fill out. He must have had to do a hell of a lot of work (pun-intended).

So, you could say, it started senior year, in detention. Or, you could say it happened after a sniper was pointed at Kenny's head, the person probably aiming for Eric, since he was on another one of his rampages-that-got-seriously-out-of-hand, but whoever it was trying to Kill Eric (probably some government official) missed and shot Kenny instead. As Kenny's face fell right onto a desk, blood gushing out of it, he could hear Stan's muffled, "oh my god, they killed Kenny!" and an even more muffled, from Kyle, "you bastards!" and Kenny felt numb.

Then, he was back. Back in Hell, that is.

The ground of hell was warm, the place surrounded by flames. The orange-red gravel was like nails piercing his skin, and Kenny got up slowly.

"What the fuck, dude." Kenny sighed, placing a hand on the side of his head, the place where he had been shot. He sighed, it was barely evening, so it would be awhile before the day was over, and Kenny would finally be back on Earth. And everyone he cared about wouldn't remember he had died.  
So for now, he was chilling in hell for a bit. Which could either be fun, or seriously boring.

Kenny walked past Hitler, who waved at him, but Kenny ignored him. The dude needed to give it up, Kenny was NOT going to be his friend. He wouldn't dis Kyle like that, plus Hitler was a douche and what he did was bad. Like, super bad. Kenny didn't care if he was considered 'the perfect Aryan' (blond hair, blue eyes, etc) Hitler was a douche, period. I'm not gonna delve into any further and this is not up for debate: Hitler sucks. The end.

But this was not the end for Kenny.

Kenny decided to do what he usually did whenever he landed himself back in hell.

He decided to go for a quick walk in the park, there was the perfect bench there that Kenny enjoyed sitting on. There was something about that particular bench and just sitting there... it really helped Kenny clear his head. The park was quite popular with Satan too, as Kenny had seen Satan there numerous times, who'd almost always be in a bad mood. Kenny even gave the man himself advice, which Satan always thanked Kenny for, but very seldom followed it, which was fine, it was shitty advice anyway.

Oh yeah, that was another thing about Kenny McCormick.

He didn't know why, but he assumed it was maybe it was because he was the 'strong-silent' type, and that he was, for the most part, a very good listener, but sometime during his high school career, people came to the conclusion that he, Kenny McCormick, was very good at giving advice. So people went to Kenny, ALL THE TIME, to get advice. Kenny was confused to how they came to such a conclusion, but often gave them advice anyways, which Kenny could once again, only assume that people did this so they could have someone to blame for their misfortunes, and well... Kenny wasn't the best person to come to for advice. It's not that he purposely TRIED to give bad advice, he just genuinely sucked at giving advice.

But back to hell.

Kenny was talking a real quick walk, around the park. When he saw, his favorite bench, and then he saw something quite unexpected.

Damien Thorn, the son of Satan, was crying.

Kenny raised a brow at this, it was almost like he 'unlocked' a new facial expression for Damien Thorn, and the only ones he had before were 'angry' and 'completely fucking pissed'. Still, Kenny couldn't help but feel bad for the guy, and also curiosity got the best of him, plus it's not like he had anything better to do, so he walked over to that bench, and took a seat.

Damien, of course, noticed this, and looked up, and if Damien's eyes weren't already red, you could bet they were even MORE red.

"What the fuck do you want?" Damien said, sniffling, trying to wipe away at his tears, but failed miserably. Oh, this was just too sad.

"Well, I died again and noticed you were crying." Kenny tapped his fingers against his knees as he sat down, "what's up?"

"Of course. You know, if you hung around those bastards less, you probably wouldn't die so often." Damien avoided the question.

"Hey." Kenny glared, "don't talk shit about my friends." Though Damien was probably right, they had drifted a bit in grade school and Kenny did die a whole lot less, regardless he still died. But Kenny didn't give a shit, he'd take a bullet for his friends (literally). Even Eric. Might as well, since he'll come back anyways.

"Whatever." Damien, got up, "I'm going back to my castle." Damien started walking towards his castle, and Kenny followed after him.

"Hey, cool. Can I come with?" Kenny asked, despite already following him, and Damien sent a glare towards Kenny, but Kenny couldn't help it. Damien was deeply upset something, and Kenny was curious.

And it was curiosity that killed the Kenny.

Damien was super savage. He set Kenny on  _fire,_  literally not giving a  _fuck,_  or caring that Kenny would come back. And Kenny was back.

Re-back... returned.. from bleak-nothingness. Anyways, he was in Hell again, and he took more notice to the 'castle' as Damien had called it, far in the distance. Kenny decided that he was up for a little adventure.

The walk to Hell's castle led Kenny to see many familiar figures: Kenny saw John F. Kennedy, John F Kennedy's son, John F. Kennedy Jr., Jeffery Dahmer, and Larry Freegan (that kid Kenny vaguely remembers who was vegan).

It was a long and boring trip, occasionally a cheap hell jumpscare would pop up, but Kenny was unbothered, having seen shit like this plenty of times. It was scary the first few times, but come on, seriously? He was a regular, do something more original. But still, Kenny did appreciate their hard work nonetheless, I mean, they did it all the time, so surely they worked hard...?

Eh, Kenny wasn't going to think about it.

Satan was careless, and loved having guests over, so the gate's to Hell's castle was left open. Kenny shrugged at this, "well, alright, then" Kenny thought, as he made his way inside. The castle was pretty big, in fact, Kenny didn't remember Satan HAVING a castle the last time he saw him, though he did hear Satan got out of a pretty bad breakup, so maybe Satan decided to treat himself. Good for Satan.

Anyways, Kenny heard the sound of muffled crying, and Kenny knew it was Damien. He followed the sound upstairs, but before he did, he did a double-take as he saw someone he recognized, and realized 'hey, it makes sense that he's here', but Kenny actually hasn't SEEN him since... before... he died, and, oh my god, was it really...

"Pip?" Kenny walked to Pip, who was crouched near the walkway to the kitchen. Pip appeared to have been crying as well, his eyes were red, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"O-oh!" Pip smiled a bit, "hello, Kenneth." Kenny was surprised Pip remembered him, and wow. Kenny was just amazed.

"Wow, holy shit dude. How long have you been here?" Kenny asked, and Pip thought about it in his head.

"Uhm," Pip counted his fingers, "eight years I believe so. Yes, that's about it."

"Wow. So uh, how'd you die?" Kenny asked.

"Evil robot lady." Pip shudders, "she was quite scary looking."

Kenny tried to recall such an incident, but their were too many incidents with robots that resembled ladies that could've killed people for Kenny to remember.

So Kenny changed the subject, "so, what are you doing here?"

Pip shifted uncomfortably from his spot on the ground, and got up, dusting himself off. "It's kind of a silly story." Pip frowned, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you." Pip began walking towards the couch that was in the living room, and Kenny followed after him.

Kenny shrugged, "dude, I don't know if you noticed, but I die like all the time. There's hardly anything I DON'T believe." Pip sat down on the couch, and Kenny did so too, "though I'm not gullible. Or stupid. But err, I think I'd believe you."

"Oh, I do notice." Pip looked up at the ceiling, "and so does Damien. We talk about you sometimes."

"Oh?" Kenny smiles. He didn't know he had a stalker. Pip's comment was DEFINITELY going straight to his head. "Heh."

"Yes, and um. Well," Pip rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "We've grown quite fond of each other. Damien and I"

"Oh!" Kenny clapped his hands together, "so you and Damien, you two are like, gay for each other."

"Yes." Pip's cheeks were tinted pink, "the kids on the playground were right when they teased me about that one. And for the son of Satan, of all people."

Kenny was chill about this, honestly, and in fact, he thinks this is the most he's ever actually TALKED to Pip, other than made fun of him. Now that he's grown a bit, and matured, he knows what a dick he was to join the others in tormenting Pip when they were younger.

"About that, sorry." Kenny stared at Pip, then at the ground, avoiding his gaze, "Sorry about my friends and shit. We were a real bag of dicks."

"Ah, don't be. That was a different Kenneth." Pip smiled, though he still retained that sad look in his eyes. "I can't imagine the fat boy has changed much, though."

Kenny laughed, a genuine laugh, "he's well, Cartman. Eric Cartman, but you know. Hormones and puberty and shit. It's a real blast." Kenny stated sarcastically, and Pip chuckled.

"Oh, I wish I could've joined you all and be apart of the 'high school days'." Pip sighed, "instead I'm stuck here. But at least I've got..." Pip frowns. He's sad again, and Kenny can tell it has to do something with...

"What's up with you and Damien? Lovers' quarrel?" Kenny asks, curious as ever. He's interested in knowing, he feels like he's talking to Pip as a real person, and well... Kenny is curious to what the tea is.

"A bit..." Pip looks up for a moment, and him and Kenny both jump at the sound of a crash from upstairs. No doubt it's Damien throwing a tantrum.

"Damien's going to rule Hell soon, and he wants me to rule it with him, but I told him no." Pip shook his head, "it's just too much, I..."

"You what?" Kenny asked.

"I'm just, nervous... Damien's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I don't know if you remember much about him, but he's really a sweet person, and I kind of just want him to rule it himself... what if I ruin it for him? What if he starts to think I'm annoying, and leaves me? Oh goodness, I dread that he will, eventually." Pip sighs, "terribly sorry, I don't know why I dumped all that on you.

Kenny frowns, thinking Pip must feel this way due to years of torment as a child, but then again, Kenny's no therapist. "Have you told Damien you felt that way?"

Pip looks to the side, "ah, well... no. I thought it would be a bit silly. I don't know..."

"Maybe you should TELL Damien. And maybe..." Kenny grins, "maybe what you're thinking, is a bit silly. Cause from the sounds of it," Kenny points up at the ceiling, Damien's sobs could still be heard in the distance. "He really likes you, and he wants to do this with you. He doesn't want you to miss out on this hella cool opportunity."

"M-maybe you're right..." Pip smiled, then stood up from his spot on the couch. "Oh, but I'm so nervous. Ruling Hell sure is a big responsibility, b-but..."

"Ah, ah ah! But nothing. Your boyfriends gonna be by your side through it, and if anything happens, it's not just your problem, it's his, too." Kenny laughs a bit, and Pip brightens

"Right-o." Pip is much happier now, elated even, "Damien! Damien, oh I want to speak with you. I've changed my mind, please don't cry anymore." Pip dashes upstairs, towards Damien's room, and Kenny can't help but feel he gave solid advice. He was really proud of himself. Finally, a happy customer, I mean sure, there's been a few, but the negative sure outweighed the positive. Plus, Damien and Pip? Kenny didn't see it coming, but wow. Life sure worked out in a funny way.

Then before he knew it, Kenny was back on the couch. His couch, back at the apartments. Had a full day already passed? Damn. Kenny groaned, and stared at the glare of the TV, which Clyde had so carelessly left on. Clyde was passed out on the floor, empty Mountain Dew liter in one hand, and remote in the other. Kenny carefully reached for the remote from Clyde's hand, to check the time on the TV, which was 6AM exactly. Kenny could probably get ready for school right now. Maybe shower, Kenny did every other day, and now that he lived in this here apartment he could shower whenever, it was a luxury Kenny didn't know he'd ever have, until he did, and it was pretty freaking sweet. Plus, he finally had clean clothes since the apartment's had a washroom. Life was truly epic for Kenny, here in these shabby apartments.

Despite how nice his life was, for the first time in awhile, Kenny was actually looking FORWARD to dying. He actually wanted to know what would happen next with Pip and Damien. It was more interesting this some of his Spanish Soaps. This was surely going to be interesting.

But Kenny had no idea what kind of hell he was going to go through.


	2. Hell and Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Goodplay, again. Long time, no writing. Sorry this chapter took awhile. I have a lot of plans for this story. Also for anyone reading The Craig Mechanism, I have the draft for the next chapter on my tablet but the power button won't turn on (son) but that should get fixed soon. And to anyone who isn't reading The Craig Mechanism - don't!

 

"Clyde, wake up." Kyle vigorously shook Clyde, who let out a loud snore. Kenny had just got out of the shower awhile ago, and had finished blow-drying his hair. He wore his usual orange parka and orange pants, as well as a pair of old furry, brown boots. He also donned a brown, fluffy scarf. Kenny walked out of his room, and witnessed the familiar morning routine.

The routine? Waking up Clyde Donovan.

Stan, Kyle and Wendy all circled around Clyde, and all shaking him as the tortured man stirred in his seat. It was truly a sight to behold, and it was when Wendy sprayed Clyde with her face setting spray that he had finally woken up.

Clyde let out a girlish scream upon waking up, and looked at everyone circled around him. Kenny had walked over to them, officially joining the circle.

"Nice one, Wends." Stan smiled, and Wendy returned the smile.

"Thanks Stan!"

It was always nice to see Stan and Wendy get along. The two had certainly matured since they were just bickering, little grade schoolers. Of course, they still needed advice from "therapist" Kenny every now and then.

"What time is it?" Clyde asked, with a half-lidded gaze. He let out a yawn as he stretched, then Kyle, who stared down at his analog watch, provided 'the time':

"You have ten minutes to get to class before you're late." Kyle stated, then did a double take. "Ten minutes!? Oh fuck, I gotta go!" Kyle rushed out the door. Kyle had perfect attendance since the beginning of high school. He wasn't about to lose just yet. Kenny did know whether to feel proud or sad for Kyle.

Stan and Wendy held hands, and Stan turned to look at Kenny. "Kenny, you coming?"

"I'll wait for Clyde." Kenny shrugged. He didn't have the heart to leave the poor guy by himself.

"Alright, well see you later I guess." Stan and Wendy followed after Kyle, but at a much slower pace.

Moments later, Clyde appeared out of the bathroom looking disheveled; His hair was still a mess and he was brushing his teeth all while trying to get one of his shoes on. Clyde's backpack sleeve hung loosely on one of his shoulders, and he quickly waltzed back in the bathroom, spit in the sink, and threw his toothbrush in the bathtub (for whatever reason. Maybe he wanted to get a new one?). He stared at the clock and realized he had three minutes to spare.

"Thanks for waiting Kenny, you're a real one." Clyde said as he bolted out the door.

Kenny followed after him, trailing behind, "no problem." The words were a bit muffled through his scarf.

The apartments they lived at were luckily only about a ten minute walk from the school. At the rate Clyde and Kenny were walking, they'd only be around two minutes late.

Clyde and Kenny ran into their shared first period: theatre. The teacher, Mr. Big Gay Al (Mr. Gay for short), gave them a disappointed look.

"Now sillies, I need you two to start being more on time. I can't have you two missing a performance!"

"I wouldn't dream of that, Mr. Gay." Kenny said, as he sat down on one of the theatre's chairs. Clyde sat down next to Kenny, and hugged his backpack in his lap.

Kenny had chosen to take Theatre for one reason: he didn't -- at first. As an eighth grader, he thought it would be fun to not select any electives at all. Meaning his counselor would have to select electives for him.

Looking back, that had been stupid. Kenny got thrown in theatre, computer keyboarding, driver's ed, and culinary. Computer keyboarding had been boring as shit, but Kenny had no idea that he could type faster than most of the kids in his grade level. Driver's ed was... Driver's ed. It was a helpful class, and the teacher was so bored of teaching it that he even helped kids get their boat license. Now if only Kenny had a boat...

Culinary actually was helpful because before that class, Kenny only knew how to make Kraft macaroni and cheese.

At the moment, Kenny's current electives were theatre, marching band, and creative writing. Theatre was the only electives that he truly stuck with all four years, as he found the class to helped him a great deal with coming out of his shell. That, and a few rumors about him sleeping with the entire football team also helped.

The two of them had set their backpacks down on their seats, and had walked over to the stage to join the rest of the students for warm-ups. While typically doing warm-ups, Kenny only focused on how much control he was in of his body. But today, he thought back to Pip and Damien. He wondered how the two of them were doing, it's been awhile since Kenny was genuinely interested in a lover's quarrel. Most of the time he gave half-assed advice, and the couple was better off not following said advice.

Kenny also wondered how he would die today. He looked up, and saw one of the stage lights were loose. Oh, that would just be lazy writing. As if that hasn't happened a million times already. He figured that was just there to tease him. Besides, Kenny was somewhat crafty. Looking around the room, he was sure there was plenty of ways for him to die.

Unfortunately, the class wasn't going to play any theatre games today, as Mr. Gay wanted to focusing on reading the script for their upcoming play. Kenny hadn't been paying attention, but the teacher had already passed out the scripts. Clyde nudged Kenny on the shoulder.

"What part do you want? I want to be Joseph. I'm pretty sure I can memorize all those lines."

Kenny blinked. He wasn't even sure what play they were doing. He stared down at the script he was given and flipped to the character page. There were only four characters, so Kenny could only assume Mr. Gay would double cast. There were about twelve students in the class so it should somewhat work. South Park high school was a small school, so they often did plays with barely any parts, though sometimes they did some with more parts to accommodate those who were shit at memorizing.

Kenny wasn't the best at memorizing, but he had great acting skills. "Uh, Valet I guess."

Kenny looked around the stage and noticed Mr. Gay had already chosen people to read, as the ever-so-talkative Esther Stoley was reading Valet, and Dogpoo was reading for Joseph. Knowing Dogpoo, he was probably going to opt out of the play, and just do lights for the performance.

Clyde began talking to Heidi, who also sat next to him, about the upcoming winter formal. Apparently Heidi was going with Gary Harrison, who was drum major in the school's marching band.

Apparently, Kenny listened in on conversations a lot. Still, now Clyde and Heidi were whispering, about God-knows-what since Kenny wasn't able to hear them at the moment.

Eventually, the bell rang, and everyone, who was sitting in criss-cross-apple-sauce formation (minus Annie Knitts, who was laying on her stomach, fast asleep) sprung up from their spots, grabbing their backpacks from their chairs, and dashed out of class.

Upon leaving class, Clyde and Kenny were greeted by Eric Cartman.

"Sup fags." Cartman said, as he started walking beside them.

"What the hell do you want." Kenny asked, not wanting to deal with Cartman this early in the morning.

"What do I- KENNY! Am I not allowed to hangout with two of my bestest friends in the whole world?" Cartman was _clearly_ flabbergasted.

"But I hate you." Clyde stated simply, and suddenly, Kyle came running up to them, appearing pissed off. Kenny could only guess who he was pissed off. It was probably, oh, I don't know, Clyde or something.

"YOU FUCKING DICK!" Kyle yelled as he pinned Cartman against the wall. He looked ready to beat his ass.

"Why the hell did you tell Patty Nelson we're gay?" Kyle stared at him, pissed off as shit.

Seriously? This again? Kenny was sure something similar happened many seasons ago. Kenny wasn't about to stick around for a repeat episode.

"Clyde, let's get the fuck out of here."

"Sure."

And sure enough, the two left, at a relatively normal pace. It was currently brunch, and the two made their way to the cafeteria. Clyde paid for his lunch, and Kenny, who qualified for free and reduced lunch, grabbed a cinnamon roll and a juice box. Kenny joined Clyde as he sat down with Craig and Tweek, the two holding hands under the table. Though Tweek seemed visibly annoyed at Craig, and Craig the same with Tweek.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Clyde asked, completely unaware of the awkward atmosphere.

"Nothing, everything is fucking wonderful." Craig released his hand from Tweek's grasp, and Tweek started to tear up.

"Easy for you to say! Nngh- I can't stand you right now!" Tweek stormed off, and Craig bolted out of the cafeteria, and Clyde looked shocked.

"Craig, wait up!" Clyde followed after Craig, and Kenny sighed. He supposed this was where he followed after Tweek.

He followed after Tweek, who was outside the cafeteria, crouched on the floor, his head buried in his knees as he sobbed uncontrollably. Oh jeez. Kenny awkwardly patted Tweek on the back, sitting on the dirty cement floor next to him.

Kenny didn't say anything, just continued to awkwardly pat Tweek, whose sobs slowly died down.

"Craig doesn't want to go to formal." Tweek bit his lip, "I don't understand. He wanted to go last year. But I didn't, so we didn't, but now... I don't know. Kenny, what should I do? "

Oh boy. The kid wanted _advice._ "Well, why the sudden change?"

"What do you mean?" Tweek asked, wiping his nose on his sleeves.

"Well, if you didn't want to go LAST year..."

Tweek stared at the floor, then looked up. "I... I don't know, man... Shits happening so fast. It's our last year of high school, and I, I never went to a single dance, so I thought, just maybe..."

Ah. The typical I-have-never-gotten-involved-in-high-school-so-this-is-my-last-chance-to-do-so blues. Kenny knew of the feeling, sure, but only from people's description. He was somewhat involved, freshman year sorta awkward, but y'know, Kenny pulled his way through.

"Have you ever considered that Craig might be petty?" Kenny spoke, then realized how shitty that sounded. He wanted to take it back, but before he could...

"What do you mean?" Tweek looked at Kenny in curiosity.

"I mean, uh, like..." Kenny scratched the back of his head. "Nevermind."

"Holy crap. Craig's still not over the fact we didn't go last year? Are you fucking kidding me!?" Tweek stood up, and Kenny almost thought Tweek was pissed at him.

"Well I'm going to formal with or without Craig, he's so stupid! He should've told me!" Tweek stormed off. Well, another satisfied customer.

Kenny shrugged, getting off his feet. He sighed as he made his way to the fieldhouses across the street, where his precalculus class was. As he was walking across the street, he heard a girl scream, and tires screech, and Kenny turned to the right to see a school bus coming his way.

Ker-splat!

'Oh boy,' Kenny thought as his heartbeat quickened, and his vision blurred. The last thing he saw before his death was a swarm of kids surrounding him. Kenny shut his eyes, and was greeted by darkness.

Hell.

Kenny stretched and let out a comically loud yawn as the familiar sight of lava and hellfire greeted him.

Kenny sprung up, and decided to go on a little walk. He was hoping, that maybe, he would bump into Damien (or Pip, he wasn't picky) to see how the couple was doing. As he continued to walk, the familiar bench came into view, and well, Kenny grew tired and sat down on it.

He stared over at Hell's lava, and started to notice how nice Hell was. For Hell, anyway. The red that seemed to surround Hell was rich and beautiful, and Kenny let out a content sigh.

"Oh, hello. Pretty early in the morning for dying, isn't it?" Pip pursed his lips together and frowned as he sat next to Kenny, avoiding eye contact with him. "Sorry if I'm bothering you."

Kenny's eyes widened, surprised by Pip's sudden appearance, but grew calm quickly. "Yeah, well, I wasn't looking where I was going, and a bus just, y'know, vroom vroomed." Kenny let out an awkward laugh, and felt even more awkward when Pip just stared at him. "Oh, and you're not bothering me at all, dude."

"Right, well, if you say so." Pip clasped his hands together. The two sat together in silence. Kenny tried to convince himself that the silence was in no way awkward, repeating the words 'this is a comfortable silence' over and over in his head.

Finally, after a long while, Pip, who looked as if had something to say, spoke up.

"May I ask a question?"

Said question caught Kenny off guard. "You just did." Kenny joked.

"Oh." Pip stared at the floor.

"But you still can. You don't need to ask, dude."

"Oh! Well, I uh, was just wondering what brings you here. I usually come here to think, and uh... Yeah."

"Well, you wouldn't be the only one." Kenny smiled as he thought back to the last time he died, when he saw Damien crying like a little bitch on this very same bench. Ah, the memories...

"I suppose you're right. Seeing as you're here. I find that when I'm deeply troubled, I come here, and well, capture my thoughts." Kenny stared down at Pip's lap, notice the faux-leather journal in his grasp.

"That a journal?" Kenny asked, and Pip nodded meekly.

"I know it seems silly, but I often right how I feel when I feel it. Though I only right when I'm feeling intense emotions." Pip tapped his fingers against his journal, continuing to avoid Kenny's gaze.

"Well Pip, I don't find it silly at all." Kenny stared at Pip, "if anything, it's a very refreshing thing to do. Most guys our age don't spend time thinking about their emotions."

"Well, thank you." Pip smiled, staring at Kenny, then down back at his journal. "It helps, from time to time, but sometimes I just want to talk about it. But I haven't got anyone to talk _to_ it about."

"You've got Damien." Kenny pointed out, and if Pip didn't already look sad, he know looked torn.

"We... We're taking time off."

This surprised Kenny. Of all things, Kenny didn't see this coming. "How come?"

Pip sighed, "I'm not fit to rule hell. Damien's sure I am, but his father, the Lord of darkness, is having doubts..."

Kenny gasped, "Satan!?"

Pip nodded, "Satan isn't sure I can handle it. I'm frail, and I have no backbone. I'm at loss for what to do."

Oh no. Could it be? Was Pip going to ask for _advice?_

"Frankly, I've given up all hope.'

_Oh_ _._ Kenny had not expected that. It sort of worked out, since Kenny had no clue what to say, but now, looking at the poor kid, Kenny wanted nothing more than to figure out some way to make things right.

"Satan is forbidding us to spend time together, but Damien had begged him to reconsider. Last I heard, he's sleeping on it, and by the looks of it, he could be hibernating." Pip stood up from his spot on the bench, "my heart yearns for Damien, but part of me fears I won't see him again."

"Dude." Was all that Kenny could say.

"And I know that I should probably face him, and prove I am worthy, but how can I? He's right!" Pip faced Kenny, tears streaming down his face. "I've no strong bone in me, I couldn't deny even the most ridiculous request to save my life." Pip looked heartbroken as he sat back down.

"I think," Kenny started, and Pip turned to look at him. "I think you should try. Try and tell Satan you're willing to do whatever it takes to prove to him that you're fully capable oh ruling Hell. I think you're a lot stronger than you realize."

"M-maybe you're right." Pip stood up timidly, "I'm certain I'm not the _strongest_ but I've got a big heart. I'm passionate! About Damien and spending rest of eternity here with him. Though it's not like I have much of a choice where I spend it with him." Pip almost seemed sad about the fact, but began walking away. Kenny felt satisfied, and Pip turned back to look at Kenny.

"...Come with me?"

Kenny smiled, "sure."

The two made their way to Hell's castle, with Pip, who was more hopeful than ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also thank you all for the kind comments last chapter! They really made my day. Also, I wrote this on my phone, and it was my first time ever writing on my phone, so sorry if it looks weird.  
> To anyone who can guess what play they're doing, in the words of my 2011 self, shall be permitted to obtain a 'virtual Cookie'.

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! It's michelle, I'm writing this story with my sister, and this round it's dip. i'd love feedback, comments, and stuff, so I can improve.


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